Raising children is tough, and there are no hard and fast rules, or parenting styles guaranteed to get the job done perfectly (whatever ‘perfectly’ maybe!). But when one parent adopts a different style of parenting to the other, it can cause conflict and lead to significant unrest within marriages and partnerships. Not only that, but the children can suffer, too.

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to achieve a sense of harmony, even when differing parenting styles are being used. Let’s firstly look at the four main types of parenting styles:

The four main styles of parenting:

Authoritarian

With strict rules and punishments, authoritarian parents believe children should obey them, and their rules, at all times.

Authoritative

Arguably the most effective style of parenting, authoritative parents also have rules they expect their children to obey, but they’re more flexible and forgiving.

Permissive

Permissive parents tend to act more like their child’s friend than a parent, and make few demands of them.

Uninvolved

With low expectations and few demands, uninvolved parents have a detached style of parenting, and little interest in what their children are doing.

What’s the impact on a family when different parenting styles are used?

As is often the case, children are quick to recognize that different parenting styles being used, and will go out of their way to use this to their advantage. Children also receive mixed messages when more than one style of parenting is being used, which can be extremely confusing and unsettling for them, while the parents often argue over which style is right.

How can you achieve harmony when more than one parenting style is being used?

You might think this to be impossible, but once you understand why you and your partner have adopted your particular styles of parenting, and recognize the impact it can have on the children and family as a whole, you can pave the way for open discussions about how you both want to raise your children. When you’ve reached this point, you can follow the steps below to achieve a greater sense of harmony when parenting:

Be supportive of each other

Whether you agree with the way your partner has chosen to deal with a certain situation, or not, you must try to be united when facing your children and refrain from arguing about parenting in front of them. Disagreements should be discussed out of earshot of your children, otherwise, you risk undermining your partner’s authority.

Be as flexible as possible

As your child grows and develops, your chosen style of parenting may need to be adjusted in order to meet their needs effectively, and if you’re not prepared to be flexible, conflict will undoubtedly occur.

Don’t practice ‘good cop, bad cop’

Making one parent into the scary authoritarian waiting to punish their child for something they’ve done, is never helpful, even if that’s exactly what they are! You don’t want to get to the point where your child obeys you only out of fear of a reprisal from the other parent.

Thankfully, whatever your parenting style and how much it may differ to that of your partner, there are ways to avoid conflict and still raise your children effectively. If you need further professional guidance, a therapist may be helpful.

At Full Circle Hypnotherapy, we help mums who are at their wits end because their children refuse to listen to them and are constantly having melt downs. Often mums are also filled with feelings of failure, guilt and shame. Our hypnotherapists in Manchester have two decades worth of experience in working with parents and guiding with parenting plan.

If you are willing to know the parenting responsibilities, visit https://www.fullcirclehypnotherapy.co.uk