All that dancing and laughter—weddings are a lot of fun, but being married isn’t always a piece of cake. (Sometimes it’s more like the frosting chunk that went up your nose during the smash—good intentions, but wrong outcome.) There’s actually a lot of work that goes into living “happily ever after,” so whether you’ve been married for years or just tied the knot, we asked the experts what couples can do to have a happy marriage. Follow their helpful tips for a stronger, healthier and yes…more blissful bond.

First of all, even happy couples argue.

No marriage is happy all of the time. “Like all relationships, there are ups and downs,” says psychologist Ahmed Amil Sengo. But when you do fight, happy marriages listen to each other’s point of view, recognize when the argument is going off the rails, and make the necessary repairs, she says. In fact, Dr. Juliana Morris, a family and couples therapist, says that some of the happiest couples she has worked with “have weathered hard times.” So if you and your spouse sometimes argue, or are going through a rough patch, this does not necessarily mean you are in an unhappy marriage. In fact, it probably means you’re normal.