If you break a leg, you go to a specialist; if your sexual life feels broken, you go to a sex therapist.

Sex therapists are trained to help people overcome sexual anxiety, communicate better about their sex lives, and work through sexual trauma.

You can find sex therapists in-person or through telehealth. Many sex therapists will offer a consultation or first session free of charge to ensure they are the right fit.

What is Sex Therapy?
Many people find it challenging to talk about their sex lives with strangers, which is why sex therapists typically begin sessions with basic, getting-to-know-you questions. This may include questions about a client’s sexual history, health and wellness, education around sex, beliefs about sex, or specific concerns like trouble orgasming or painful sex.

However, as time goes on, sex therapists often get more detailed in their questions to help clients gain confidence and achieve sexual satisfaction. They can also assist with identifying physical and emotional obstacles that are hindering healthy sexual functioning.

Ultimately, sex therapy is similar to any other type of mental health treatment. It is a safe and supportive space for exploring your feelings and concerns about sex and intimacy. Whether you are a single individual seeking help or part of a couple, sex therapy can be helpful for anyone who wants to feel more satisfied in their sex life. For couples, sex therapy can be an important part of relationship rebuilding.

What can I expect in Sex Therapy?
Sex Therapy is a form of talk therapy with a focus on sexual health and relationship issues. It may be used alone or in couples. Sessions are confidential and there is no physical contact or intimacy between client and therapist.

During your first session, a sex therapist will likely ask you about the past and current state of your sexual functioning. They will also want to understand more about your relationships and medical history, if applicable. They will do this at a pace that is comfortable for you.

It is normal to feel a bit nervous about talking about your sex life with a stranger, but remember that sex therapists are trained to make the conversation as comfortable as possible for their clients. They know that everyone is unique and will work with you to determine the best ways to address your needs. In addition, sex therapists are able to help you recognize that wanting or needing sex therapy doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your relationship.

How can Sex Therapy help me?
Sex therapy can help if you have concerns about your sexual health or a desire for greater intimacy. You can go to sex therapy by yourself, or with your partner(s). It’s also a good option for couples who have difficulty communicating about their sex life and other issues affecting their relationship.

Like other types of therapy, your initial sex therapist intake session will typically involve a thorough rundown of your relationship and sexual history. This can be a difficult topic to discuss but it’s important to be honest and open.

In addition to discussing your sex life, your therapist may also work with you on practical tasks designed to address your specific needs. These can include:

How can I find a Sex Therapist?
To find a therapist who is trained in sex therapy, start with a referral from someone you trust. That could be your GP, a general practitioner or a specialist such as a gynecologist. You can also check online directories like those run by the Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). You’ll want to choose a therapist who is certified in sex therapy and who is licensed in your area.

Look for a therapist who is warm and engaging, is interested in the sexual part of their clients’ lives and doesn’t brush off hang-ups or traumas they may have around their bodies, sex, or past experiences. It’s also a good idea to find a therapist who can appreciate fetishism and kinks.

You can also ask friends or family who have had sex therapy what they think of their therapist and how helpful they found it. And don’t be afraid to ask about cost — a good sex therapist can offer a sliding scale for those who cannot afford the going rate.