The Impact of Location-Tracking Apps on Relationships
Positive use of track partners social media demands respect, trust, and ground rules.

Apps like Life360 and FindMyFriends are digital monitoring tools that let users see the location of family, friends or anyone, really, who agrees to allow you to track them. Life360 is like FindMyFriends on steroids, with the potential to track cell phone battery life, location history, and with a subscription, driving reports, crime alerts, and crash detection.

There's a lot of debate about the pros and cons of tracking partners, friends, and family members. From a psychological perspective, these apps force us to address issues such as desirable levels of privacy versus 'feeling watched' and the relational costs versus benefits of tracking. It all boils down to trust and ground rules.

The sales pitch for Life360, the app getting a lot of press right now, claims to bring people together. Monitoring is not the same thing as relational closeness. Apps like these are really marketing to our primal fear of uncertainty and danger in the guise of our need for connection. It offers the illusion that information will keep us safe and connected. It doesn’t address the core issues that are at risk in the act of monitoring: trust and consent.

There can be clear benefits of shared monitoring under certain circumstances, such as in amusement parks, at airports and on road trips--or when you're coordinating kids' activities and pick-ups. They can also offer a sense of security to let others know your Lyft driver deposited you safely home or that you’re late because you’re still at the office. However, before you get all excited and download this app, there are two important things to remember: 1) you can do much of this already just by texting or calling and 2) there are psychological implications to this app that, in the interest of your relational health, you need to consider and discuss so that the app is a positive contributor to your relationships and your mental health.

Big Brother or Best Friend?

Being monitored can have a wide-ranging psychological impact depending upon if we agree to be monitored or if someone demands that right or pressures us into acquiescing. Just because one person is fine with being monitored doesn't mean the other person will feel the same way.

Monitoring can expose the assumptions that people have about certain roles and behaviors. For example:

Does a romantic relationship mean partners have the right to monitor each other’s location?
If you are uncomfortable being monitored, does your partner see that as a lack of love and commitment? If a partner wants to monitor, do you interpret that as caring or a lack of trust? Or questions about your competence?
Do parents have the “right” to monitor their children? If so, how much and how long? Does it make kids feel like you don’t trust their word or that they aren’t old enough to take care of themselves?
Does being monitored by a partner make you feel cared for or spied on, creeped out or not trusted? Or that your time is no longer your own and that any deviation from 'normal' might trigger mistrust or jealousy?
Does being monitored make you feel anxious like I’m not keeping up or doing enough? Or that I have to behave a certain way to meet others’ standards?