These are roles you have learned to play. In order to get off this merry-go-round you first need to take a close look at your subpersonalities and identify them. You are being lived and you yourself are not the creator of your life. It is only one facet of your self, and not your entire BEING. Standing in a traffic jam, your aggressive side may surface as another driver cuts in front of you. . We all are a mix of different subpersonalities. And it just goes on and on like that.. All day long, week after week, year after year, we submit ourselves to the erratic play calling our subpersonalities on and off stage, time and again. This makes it hard to describe your real self, since you keep playing other parts. Try to stay out of judgment as you do this. in front of them. Do not waste it by automatically repeating the roles others designed for you. For example, instead of saying : I am aggressive, rather say : I have moments of aggression. During your lunch break your hurrying self comes back to do some quick shopping. Look at yourself through the eyes of an external observer. You will notice you are not playing the same roles all day long. The fact that you have moments of aggression entails that there are also other moments when aggression is not there. You deserve being your true self. In the morning you may feel tired and bad-tempered, hurrying to get the kids to school in time. You go out with friends and your playful side comes up, releasing the happy child inside. To become aware of the roles you are playing, you have to learn to observe yourself. As long you are not sure about your mission on earth, about the reason WHY you are here, about your main goal in life, you will feel like a ping-pong ball undergoing the commands of all your subpersonalities. Back home you might play dictator towards the children who do not want to do their homework. Once you have completed your list of subpersonalities, try putting the phrase :I have moments of . Once you know them by name, you are back in charge of your life goal and they loose their power over you. The core of you is different, a core much deeper than the superficial roles you have learned to play in order to survive in an environment imposed upon you. Do not waste it by trying to live up the demands of others. In this center you feel peace and inner strength. It is up to you to live it. You are just running around without real destination, for no real reason. You may exaggerate and cross a line, triggering the guilty self to raise its head.. After coffee you once again feel uplifted and courageous and ready to take on the whole world. Your life is yours. You need to identify your subpersonalities in order to free yourself of their tugs. This core is your true nature, your individuality, the truth about you, to be discovered by meditation or by looking at your best moments when you were really yourself. When there is no goal to strive for, when you do not have an overview of your life plan, then you are not living your best life. You are probably quite exhausted and feel like you are spinning around without reason, without result and without satisfaction. This split results in a sense of chaos and constitutes the most important hindrance keeping us from finding and implementing our mission. Before long you feel disappointed or even irritated when your boss scolds you. Once you have identified all your different subpersonalities living inside you, you can go some deeper to find the real you. Just like the actors in a theatre play, they come and go one by one and take turns in the spotlight and the drama of the day. You cheer up a depressed friend calling you. Make a list of the subpersonalities you encounter during your observation during an entire day or week. (The judge is just another subpersonality of the self!) This is an exercise to observe the self.
Examples: the fearful, the complaining, the ambitious, the doubter, the mixer, the talkative, the introvert, the distant, the aggressive, the evil, the friendly, the assistant, Massage ball the martyr, the one forgetting about oneself, the intelligent, the rebel, the challenger, the shy one, the hyperactive, the perfectionist, the organizer, the depressed, the sob, the mother figure, the family man, the daughter, the son, the yes man, the indifferent, the helpless one, the teacher/doctor/bank clerk (your profession), and so on.The subpersonalities are built on habitual thinking, habitual acting and habitual emotions. These are different aspects of ourselves that take turns expressing themselves, and that may at times be contradictory. Without goal you are also without guidance to take the right decisions. All of these subpersonalities are fighting for attention and keep us from focusing on what is really important. From a distance, look at what you are doing and feeling throughout the day, and record all feelings and behaviors written in the script. It is your job to unfold your true nature. You have become so accustomed to playing these roles that you are no longer aware of it, proceeding automatically and mechanistically. At work you might feel superior or inferior. During the coffee pause, your complaining self comes forward as you are venting about intolerable behavior of a colleague, or maybe your are jealous of a co-worker. By putting : I have moments of,in front of these subpersonalities, you allow yourself to release the burden they impose. It is your responsibility to live it at your terms.If you have not decided yet what your mission is and what it is you want to realize in this life, then you are wasting time and energy on all kinds of trivialities keeping you from what it is you really came here for. Your life deserves being lived by your true self. Your life is designed for only you.