Perhaps you're feeling it now. As though you're going to comprehend something life getting updated, however you're on the outskirts of it and not ready to see the full picture yet.

It resembles you're filling in the unique pieces, individually, yet you're feeling the loss of the edge that encompasses the actual riddle.

I had this feeling perseveringly in youth. It strengthened in my 20s and mid 30s. However, when I completely awakened, it disappeared. Disappeared apparently for the time being and hasn't returned. Maybe I awakened from a waking dream, and I could see past the framework to what was genuine and valid.

Assuming you're feeling the weird inclination, believe that it's there which is as it should be. I guarantee it will be figured out for you as you progress forward with your journey.

You regard yourself as turning out to be spiritually inquisitive. Check out non dual awareness acim.

Needing, perhaps wanting, to get more familiar with spirituality in an extremely wide sense and not really in a manner that is attached to any one religion specifically.

Is it safe to say that you are interested about things that appear 'out there' or 'abnormal'?

Maybe you're into phantoms, outsiders, the secrets behind the pyramids, UFOs, and paranoid notions about the moon.

Perhaps you've taken an irregular jumping at the chance to quantum physical science, string hypothesis, and dark openings.

Maybe you're into holy messengers, soul guides, soothsaying, mystics, and tarot. Check out https://nondualteacher.com/non-dual-a-course-in-miracles-in-india/.

Or on the other hand for you it very well may be an insubordinate addressing of the norm of the frameworks. You wind up tumbling down the dark hole on GMOs and the decay of our food framework, the messed up nature of the political framework from one finish to another, the synthetic compounds in private consideration items, the business of sickness that is turned into the foundation of current medication...

The rundown happens for a significant distance, however the fact that starts as a journey of truly investigating ourselves transforms into a more extensive, more far reaching interest in the idea of reality itself.