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"Get buy wow gold out of bed, don't get out of bed," they're told. "But if you don't, you don't progress. breakfast, most of these young men's beds are made, sort of, and they've either been to a yoga session, or for a walk around the lake in this remote mountain retreat.

The aim here starts out that simple: Get up. Clean your room. Hold meaningful conversations. Resolve your differences.

Eventually, it moves on to setting some goals: Staying in school, getting a job, or both. Moving out of their parents' homes when they leave this place is a hope for many.

They are the most basic of goals, a rite of passage for any young adult. But experts say more young people today especially young men like the ones who come here lack the will, or perhaps even the know how, to achieve them.

They are the modern day lost boys, who suffer from "failure to launch," a term made popular by a movie of the same name. While at least one critic deemed that film "completely unbelievable" at the time, five years later real life is imitating fiction.

Federal statistics show that young men are, for instance, nearly twice as likely to live at home with their parents than young women their age. They're also less likely to finish college, or to have a job. The struggling economy has only made things worse.

"We see more failure to launch because there's less to launch into," says Joshua Coleman, a psychologist who is the co chairman of the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit organization that tracks trends in American families.

These days, even young men from families with means who get into good schools like those who come to this residential program in the mountains northwest of Boulder are having a hard time getting a foothold.

"They are depressed, anxious, overwhelmed and underprepared," says Joseph DeNucci, one of the founders of this program, called Insight Intensive at Gold Lake.

With his broad Brooklyn accent, DeNucci stands out in a place like this, a former retreat for the wealthy on a private lake. He developed swanky spas in Arizona and elsewhere. But he had always longed to do something for young men who struggled to find their way, as he had in his teen years. He sold his spa in Arizona and, with other investors, bought the land and buildings to create this different kind of retreat.

"For years, we've been sending people to 12 step programs. But this 18 or 19 year old who's smoking pot, playing World of Warcraft and sitting on the couch in his parents' home is he an addict? No. He might be working on being an addict," DeNucci says.

But there's something more going on, he says.

These young men also might have issues with depression and anxiety, though the program does not accept those who have severe psychiatric problems or who've used hard drugs or abused prescription painkillers. Nor can they have a history of violence or a criminal record.

For these guys, the key issues are an absence of motivation, and the lack of what DeNucci and his staff call "an early adult life plan."

The Insight program, which has space for no more than 25 young men, ages 18 to 23, involves a stay of three to four months at a cost of $350 a day. That's usually paid by parents who are at their wits' end but who also may unwittingly be part of what is surely a multi layered problem.

At breakfast in the main lodge, a tall, scruffy haired young man sits quietly, looking a little dazed. His time at Insight is about to come to an end and, in the afternoon, one of his mentors will be driving him to Boulder, an hour away, to look for an apartment.

The 22 year old wants to get a job, maybe at a coffee house and to teach guitar lessons. He's going to try to go back to school.

"I'm nervous about going off into the world," he says, speaking as all the young men did on the condition that names not be used to maintain the therapeutic program's strict code of confidentiality.

Before he came here, he was living in Virginia in an apartment that his dad paid for. He'd dropped out of university and didn't make it at community college, either.

"I'd start off really strong. Then one bad thing would happen I'd miss class or wouldn't turn in an assignment," he says. So he'd stop going because he couldn't face his teachers.

"I didn't want to disappoint anybody."

For him, marijuana and alcohol were part of the problem. He says he also always had a hard time living up to the expectations of his father, who sells insurance and who is divorced from his mother, a musician like her son is. Even before college, he says he "had to fail out" of an all boys' prep school that his father wanted him to attend. He hated it that much. It wasn't "him."

It is a common sentiment: A few of the guys talk about wanting the chance to break free to be themselves. And yet they seem afraid to take the leap from the cocoon their parents have provided.

In essence, they say, adulthood just doesn't look that appealing. Some call it downright hopeless.

One 21 year old New Yorker who's been at Insight for a few weeks puts it this way: "If I don't try, I can't fail."

Therapists who've been dealing with "failure to launch" more and more in the last five to 10 years name any number of factors that have contributed to the phenomenon.

"I could go on and on about kids in third grade with four tutors or parents doing the homework for them. At every turn, the parents are there trying to put some kind of helmet on their kid, metaphorical or otherwise," says Michael Simon, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Oakland, Calif.

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