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You'll feel an overwhelming urge to drop hints about what you've found just to let him know you're not a fool. My advice to you is don't. If you give in to these urges prematurely, you'll be making a serious mistake. Keep your lips zipped and your emotions in check until you have all the facts. Timing is everything. Don't lose the advantage you have by exposing your knowledge too soon.Restrain YourselfIt will take great effort on your part to restrain yourself as the evidence against your husband mounts Do not come right out and ask him if he's having an affair unless you're prepared to hear a lie. It usually takes solid evidence before a cheating husband will reluctantly (if ever) admit to having an affair.

Even then, many men continue to lie. Ask a few discreet questions, if you must, but refrain from giving him the third degree. Continue your search for telltale signs and put your major questions on hold. Jot them down in a special section of your evidence journal. You'll get a chance to ask them later when you sit down and talk with him about his affair. Restrain yourself for now. There's nothing to be gained by dropping hints or letting your husband know what you suspect. Reveal what you knowe only at the right time, under the right circumstances. The more information you gather about your husband's affair, the more fragile your emotions may become -- or the hotter your anger will begin to blaze.

If the pain of discovery becomes too much to bear or you become too filled with rage to continue, hire a professional who can investigate from an impersonal point of view.Build a Strong CaseOnce you have solid evidence that your husband is cheating, experts agree that you should confront him with your knowledge of his affair. Make sure your case is strong and your evidence solid. It will be hard for him to deny the truth if you have things down in black and white. That's why it's so important that you keep accurate notes. Otherwise, he may try to confuse you or convince you it's all in your mind. This is a common ploy of cheating husbands when confronted with evidence of their affair.

Plan Your Confrontation When the time is right for you to confront your husband with what you know about his affair, the time, place and goals of your confrontation must be carefully planned. When you confront him, there are specific questions you'll need to ask him about the affair. A WORD OF CAUTION:Do not jeopardize your safety searching for telltale signs. Take all necessary precautions to protect yourself and your children.

If at any time you feel that you are in danger; or if your husband has aggressive tendencies, an explosive temper or has a history of violent behavior, leave the detective work to a pro. Do not put yourself or your children at risk. ? 2001-2004 Ruth HoustonAbout the Author: Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You?