11th Hustle: Sick of Dating Services?

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❤ : Im so sick of online dating

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If I ever got messaged first, it was from … well, dogs, frankly. Take a nap in the sun. This, my yelp friends..

Why do I have to approach the man? I was shy when I was younger and used it as a means to meet people. Are you referring to all those wonderful-family men who bother women like me to try for crying out loud to have a little fun already? I am happy with my job, but, again, not many people there that are my age.

I wish there were a way we could exchange pictures. Become involved with groups, clubs, go out to bars, etc. I know the person from a group of friends. I know I am honest. I look at it as way to get to know someone much like being friends and then seeing if we have enough in common to take it further. Im also said to be attractive by friends and others. Unfortunately, neither worked out. Usually after the beer and then we're an item the next day. I had one profile that was rather long-winded and very detailed about my values, my political leanings and about what I was looking for. They were on Hinge. Some of the writings aren't so much relationship advice as they are just people saying that if you do this insert something that's probably normal here in your relationship then it's unhealthy or stop doing this again, something normal goes here or your relationship is doomed.

5 Tips For Beating First - They have to want to be with me because we like each other enough.

Ugh just wanted to vent, why can't dating be simplified in some way. I know all about internet dating but i want to find a girl that old fashioned way. I don't want to write an essay about myself stating in 500 words or less why you should be dating me. I want someone who understands that yeah i do have to work at nights and no my days off are never usually grouped together so when i have a day off i would like to be in your company. Oh and don't let me get on about crazy mixed signals, I've had a lot of that lately first you kiss me the next your ignoring me. Just let me know gosh darn it if your interested or not. Hey its not as if i don't have a lot to offer anyone I'm witty i can keep up with banter on occasions, I'm sarcastically funny everyone likes that haha. I'm not an idiot nor am i a genius, but I'm not an idiot i guess that's what counts. I can say with out any hint of conceitedness that I'm fairly attractive i go to the gym. Come on i guess i just meet the ones that don't know what they want or who they want. SO sick and tired of dating. I am a decent honest guy who has a great career, knows how to put the toilet seat down, wash my own cloths, is a good communicator and listener. Where do you go to meet people these days. I find that everyone is just so busy that its difficult to startup a conversation with someone you might be interested. I've tried the internet dating thing, I ended up seeing a girl for 2 months who stalked me for 6 months after we broke up. And yes, after 10 years of marriage and then a divorce, I am totally out of practice when it comes to dating. I feel you, man. I cannot tolerate dating either. The waste of time in probing for red flags, the expense, the pathetic display of one's goods for acceptance or rejection. It primal and straight out of the animal kingdom. I thought I was through with all that when a wonderful woman found me on a dating site. My days of empty dating were over and I was ready to finally settle down. But, it was not to be. I experienced my best relationships when I wasn't looking. I'm not ready to start dating again and apart from really hating it, as silly as this sounds , feels like I'm cheating if I did. I'm sure she doesn't. This conversation would go good over a couple a martini's. You are very cute and I think any girl would love a man who cooks! I read your profile, and if your internet dating profiles are anything like the one here, I think I could offer some constructive criticism: First, be careful of posting photos where your hand is over your crotch looks a little creepy. Second, if other people on the site write in complete sentences with full spelling and punctuation, try to follow their lead. Think about presenting yourself to your best advantage. I have been married 17 years and have obviously not tried internet dating, so I can't offer any more advice than that. Steppin' into man world... It's to the point where I don't even try anymore. The dating game is just so.... Women aren't the only ones that play games and have mixed signals... And every man that I meet is dramatic as hell! I don't want to deal with that at all. All that I do is just keep making friends and meeting people. I'm thinking that someone somewhere will have a brother, college friend, etc. Luckily, my friends keep me from feeling lonely. But damn, a girl's got needs! More constructive criticism: never ever ever post of photo of yourself with your ex cut out or scratched out. I think we've gone over this in other threads. And ditto on the crotch shot. Sure your profile here isn't for dating or is it? Keep a stable of young fillies around for NSA fun and just live your life. Maybe you'll meet someone. Judging from your picture, looks like you have plenty of time before you end up alone and miserable in a nursing home. Thank you DAVE S.. You need to first and foremost be open to the possibility of you never know... I worked for a dating service here in Chicago for 3 years and have heard it all... I'm sure that we have heard the adage that a person can tell whether or not they would like to continue forward with someone within the first minute... Well, my point being is that not every relationship is going to necessarily start with a bang... A story of one of my clients... He was about to give up.. I talked him off of his perch and asked him what was it that he was truly upset about.. He hadn't had a second date since joining the service.. I knew what he could do to maybe change his luck.. I said, if you know of something cool, an exhibit.. Right then and there.. This, my yelp friends.. The rest is left up to the universe, pheremones, chemicals... I really hate to sound cliche, but I think there's alot of truth in the statement when you stop looking, you'll find what you were looking for - at least that's the way my life experience has shown. Every single one of my serious relationships have always come around when I wasn't looking and started out relaxed as friends and we end up serious before we know it. Granted, I haven't had many relationships in my adult life 2 , so I'm not sure if there's much value in what I say. Then put that list away and just let go - not forget about it, but let go. You now know what you want in concrete terms, but that's just an illusion that's stressing you out. I know, easier said than done. And I need to follow my own advice! And I did say that it's easier said than done. Someone to fill your Saturday nights, so you're not alone? Those things require different energies. It's a bit of a zen thing - it really can't be articulated in so many words to really be understood, it just is. I think maybe some people are so focused on satisfying their own needs and wants that they forget that there's another person with their own set of needs and desires. I think once you start focusing on yourself and trying to understand what gives you happiness, the universe will respond accordingly. I think when some people become part of a couple, they deal with dueling... I'm not really making sense here, am I? I think I'm trying to say, falling in love is losing yourself in another person. And don't you want to be confident enough in your sense of identity that you'll be able to find yourself again after love's first blush? And be able to contribute to this partnership equally, so both people get what they want out of it? I hope this makes sense.... Jerry is quite insightful and makes sense to me. It's a balancing act, where sometimes, the effort is not appreciated nor returned. There is a belief in where - you get back what you put into the universe. Put out sorrow, dispare and anguish, and that's what is returned to you. Joy and positive thoughts, are delivered right back, and with it, good vibes that people sense. Losing yourself in another person is euphoric and addictive, albeit - non too healthy. I'm still in my blue period, in time I hope to come out of it. Let's think about this here for a second. If a guy and a woman meet and they both hate dating and then they go on a date what do you think is going to happen? More than likely the date will be a bad one based on both of their current attitudes toward dating. This will reinforce their current hatred of dating and you can see the viscous circle that is starting right? I don't hate dating. I hate the stupid games that men play. I hate that they want something but never tell the person they are dating what it is. I hate that people aren't honest about what they feel or expect from another person. I hate that sometimes people don't have the courage to open their mouths and let opportunity walk right by them. The initial dates, the first few, are fun. It's what comes after those first dates that, in my experience, typically sucks. If I could offer one kernel of advice to all the single men out there, I would say don't be afraid. If you see a girl that you are attracted to, go talk to her! It doesn't take much to asses if she's into you or not. If it doesn't work you've lost nothing. Yeah, I probably sound a little bitter. I'm just tired of being the person making all the moves. I just don't understand why so many people are running around trying to date! Here is the truth: I'm 31 and I have never, ever been on a date. The very thought freaks me out. I hang out with a lot of people and get to know them... I have never understood that concept. I think that if you just live your life, go out, have fun you'll come across someone who you want to be a friend first then take their panties if they wear them off second. Besides, its better to be friends first, donchya think? Why does dating have to equal sex Ms. I look at it as way to get to know someone much like being friends and then seeing if we have enough in common to take it further. Everyone has their own perspective and agenda, but I think that getting to know someone and hanging out as you claim to do is in fact dating. If I go out with a friend of mine one and one because I enjoy their company, then that is a date? Or is a date going out with someone who you hope to strike a romantic interest in When I say date, date t o me means that you are seeing someone to see if you really really like them and want to spend time and eventually or if the mood strikes you eventually set up a sexual relationship with them. Date doesn't mean that you have to have sex with them right then and there... I don't have sex with my friends unless they become someone I am involved with so when I go out with them its isn't a date. I think so many people think that dating equals sex or at least some shade of it , that you can't count on your date not wanting to get in your pants on the first date. There was this show on for about five minutes last year about dating. They were encouraging all these women to date and then congratulating them when first dates ended in a kiss. I thought that was kind of gross. Why would you want to kiss much less do anything else with someone you've only known for a few hours? I agree with Ms. T that friends first is the way to go. I guess the trick is to make sure you're making REAL friends. I guess that is where I am strange. I'm on here to read reviews for places to take my co-workers and clients. I'm on myspace because I like to keep up with people that I personally have met and know... Then again I am a crabby old bitch. I don't especially like groups of people unless I know most of them well. That's a black and white world you live in Mesum... Especially the part about your friend wanting to hook up, so you act like friends 'til your friend gets his hookup. I'm a little disgusted, I have to say. That kind of manipulation just looks bad, no matter who is wearing it. If you're interested in the person romantically and the person is interested in you, it's a date. Whether the night ends with a kiss, a slap and tickle, or a handshake. In my opinion, it's a date. Yeah, you can say that you're 'just friends' with a person, but it's been my observation that one of the people has stronger feelings than just friendship... I guess I am saying that in my life, there are no dates. I know the person from a group of friends. I hang out with them, play games or whatever, and stuff happens. Usually after the beer and then we're an item the next day. Its not a date because its not done with the intention of romance or impressing the other at all. Yes I have been on ONE date in my life: When I was a DJ at bootleggers, a bunch of Irish guys came in who were working here for the summer. They ended up buying me drinks because they liked the music that I played of course! I didn't play any of that top ten pop crap! Two of them were talking to me and one of them asked me out before the other one got a chance I found out later once we all became friends which to this day makes me laugh that maybe I went out with the wrong one! But he did spoil me. I can count on one hand the number of relationships I've had with American guys. I seem to always end up with people across the pond. Not that I am complaining! Mesum, I don't understand. You meet a girl and want to date her but she just wants to be friends. Why wouldn't you then just be friends with her? Why do you decide she is of no value to you at all if you can't hook up? Personally, I wouldn't even want to get together with someone who had no value to me other than being a sex partner. Am I missing something? I think - not that I would know from personal experience! Spiders seem to be the theme of my day thus far. Okay, thread hack over! Peter Parker enbodies the male psyche. He has all these incredible abilities, including spidey sense, but still bumbles around a woman. It's unpredictible and unknown territory. You think you are doing all the right things, and then get shot down. A woman can make or break you in a way that no male can. Unless you go that way. Joe It's a normal human reaction not to want to be around a person that you have stronger feelings for. I'm sure it would be hard for me to continue to be around someone that I wished it had ended differently. I was trying to point out to Mae that we all have different ways of reacting and interacting with the world. Maybe she would be comfortable being friends with someone that she wanted to date - I don't know this for a fact but that's the impression I get from her post. I could be wrong though. I don't like people who use other people, period. That's not my 'moral compass' speaking and why would you expect me to be laissez-faire about potentially hurting others is a head scratcher. It isn't that I think using is moral or immoral -- I just think that a lack of honesty in the situation is weak and childish and smacks of machiavelli. I don't think your 'honesty' or 'self-awareness' is refreshing. I find the fact that you know you do this, and yet continue to do it to be a disappointing statement of character. Call me judgemental, go ahead, but you will never find me doing anything that could hurt another person in the name of 'loyalty' to a friend or family member. I'm as loyal as the next guy, but not at someone else's expense. Machiavelli was right about so many things. I honestly don't see how Mesum is hurting anyone... If he has someone that he is talking to until his friend hooks up with her, I am pretty sure she isn't going to notice or care once she has her paws into someone else. I doubt that when he is doing that, he is spending a hell of a lot of time with her to being with for her to really feel a pang of absence when he's gone off into the sunset. Then again, maybe I'm the strange one. I don't consider anyone a friend until I have known them a very long time. I think people throw that term around carelessly. I have a lot of acquaintances and if I never speak to them again, no big whoop. But they are not my friends so they are hardly miss and I am hardly hurt. He's not doing this to get into THEIR pants so I honestly don't see what he is doing wrong. It isn't right or wrong, it is stupid. It isn't dishonesty, per se, but the ability to play up your 'assets' and downplay your, uh, 'junk in da trunk', so to speak. So yeah, if you are remotely good looking, social, and under 30, dating isn' t a rat race. Online is a whole 'nutha story. Like my shrink always says: It's life, not heaven. Please forgive me for quoting my shrink...... I rarely do so. If dating sucks, don't do it. You don't need another person to be 'complete'. And if you think you do, then you have some issues, which would explain why you're having such a difficult time meeting someone 'normal' and 'nice'. I see nothing wrong with strong, independent, secure people wanting to spend some quality time with an interesting member of the opposite sex. I still notice whether people are attractive, but I'm not into making an effort right now and don't want to be bitter, so I figure why waste someone else's time. Dating involves being vulnerable enough to put yourself out there and risk being rejected. The more honest and open you are, the more likely it is you will meet a genuine match. But the more honest and open you are, the more it hurts when you get rejected. Let's face it, all relationships end in either a breakup or death or insanity if you count Alzheimer's , so there's going to be pain involved no matter what happens. Sometimes it's a good idea to step back and take care of oneself for a while. I think there's a lot to be said for thinking about who you are and what you want and being able to express that to someone in a short period of time - whether online, or when first getting to know one another. I expect people to put their best foot forward on their first few dates, and, while I make allowances for nervousness on a first date, of someone isn't doing so, I do tend to assume that's the best he'll ever be. I've wasted enough of my life treating men as projects, so I accept men as they are now. However, that means there really aren't a lot of second chances for guys who aren't their best selves when first getting to know me. I honestly don't see what's wrong with treating someone else's prospective date as a friendly acquaintance maybe that's a better word choice, Mesum? One should be friendly and polite to one's friends' friends. One should show an interest. But that doesn't obligate one to invite an acquaintance into one's regular social circle. Spell Check is my best friend. I am feeling better - modern medicine - Yay. As to wanting someone to make you happy vs. It's no fun dating someone who is unhappy. I want a man to invite me to share a happy life he has built for himself, and try to offer the same. Adults shouldn't need saving. And, since I want to have children, I'm hoping for a man who can not only take care of his own needs, but who will have some internal resources in reserve for prospective children. It seems to me raising children takes a lot of time and effort. Someone who is depressed and needy in the first place probably wouldn't be much help. I am complete on my own, thanks. No one else can make you totally happy, you have to find happiness within yourself. I remember when I was in college and my friend Wade G. You've had sex with everyone. Nobody owes you a relationship or affection. Besides, I was a virgin at the time. So Wade's premise wasn't even accurate. I wonder if his approach worked on anyone. Despite being fairly liberal when it comes to other people's behavior, I'm fairly conservative when it comes to my own. It's not as if I hadn't done anything with anyone, but I was brought up Catholic. I had parked frequently with my professional weight-guesser boyfriend when I was in college, though. We did manage to steam up some windows.

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I wish there were a way we could exchange pictures. Become involved with groups, clubs, go out to bars, etc. I know the person from a group of friends. I know I am honest. I look at it as way to get to know someone much like being friends and then seeing if we have enough in common to take it further. Im also said to be attractive by friends and others. Unfortunately, neither worked out. Usually after the beer and then we're an item the next day. I had one profile that was rather long-winded and very detailed about my values, my political leanings and about what I was looking for. They were on Hinge. Some of the writings aren't so much relationship advice as they are just people saying that if you do this insert something that's probably normal here in your relationship then it's unhealthy or stop doing this again, something normal goes here or your relationship is doomed. Gay dating milwaukee
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