I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I'm still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining samples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the very first time in a long while, I do not feel alone.



Section of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I would be doing this for the incorrect reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.



Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I'm about to talk about was not yet clear in those days; only on the drive away did it coalesce.



That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have let you see inside. acim teacher Don't want it troubling your brain, won't you let it be?” This confused me as I really could not consider something that I had stated that I felt regret for.

 

Eventually, the phrase, “don't want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I had in arriving at the Monastery was that I'd somehow interfere with its residents'satisfaction, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people's state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored lots of my past experiences and relationships.



This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.



There are other things that happened that felt important, but I can't consider them right now.