My Name Is Jay and I'm an addict. I stood up in a 12 step meeting on August of 2002 and said those beautiful words that began my Miraculous Journey towards a beautiful new life. I surrendered my will to God that day and by his mercy and his grace I have never used drugs again.

That's only the beginning however. God wanted to show off a bit so he just kept the miracles flowing. This is my testimony of God's great love for us. If you have found it I can assure you it was not by mistake. There are no coincidences in God's world. I am confident that you will find my journey will inspire you. God Bless.

I've made many mistakes in my life and I've suffered the consequences that came with them. Back in 1979 I was convicted of Robbery and at the tender age of 19 and I was sentenced to 3 years in prison of which I served 2 1/2 years of pure hell. That was 30 years ago and it still haunts me to this day. I find it very hard to find employment, I've had residential applications turned down by default because I have a felony record and perhaps the most bizarre thing that I've come across is when I was denied the right to adopt my step-daughter who I have raised since she was 2 years old even after the courts made me her legal guardian in 2003 following the abandonment of both her biological parents and the court stripping them both of their parental rights.

Faith is 15 now and she and my daughter Elissa who is 11 both share the same mother, that being my ex-wife. Every one involved with the case agreed that I was Faith's father, oh though not biological, but as the man who raised her, loved her, and overcame seemingly impossible obstacles and terribly difficult battles with my own demons, specifically a drug addiction that nearly killed me in the physical sense and tormented me to the point that I was an empty shell of a man in the spiritual realm.

Both my girls had been taken from my wife and were living in foster care at this time. I had been in a drug rehab at the time and I was helpless to do anything. Let me be perfectly honest with you and confess that I wasn't in rehab because I wanted to be there; on the contrary I was there because I was court ordered. In 1999 I was arrested for writing my own prescriptions for pain and anxiety medicine I had become addicted to and was put on 2 years probation of which I violated in 2000. After that I was ordered to spend 6 months in a recovery program.

I left the program in July of 2001 with 6 months of sobriety under my belt and I was ready to get my girls, but my world was quickly turned upside down again as I fell into the deepest darkest pit I had ever seen. I didn't know how to function in the real world and it wasn't long before my demons were back and this time they filled me with so much guilt and shame which I coped with the only way I ever knew how to. It wasn't long before I was living on the street, addicted and alone, hopeless and without faith, tormented and near death.

I had given up on me, but God never had and when I called on him and totally surrendered my will he took this broken homeless addict and he loved on me and I knew I wasn't alone for the first time in oh so very long. I cried out to him and he comforted me. I told him I was so sorry and he let me know I was forgiven. I told him I felt hopeless and he made me feel loved. I felt God's presence at that moment and my life would never be the same.

I used every ounce of strength I had and every bit of courage I could muster that morning to make my way to the "Crossroads" building where I had made many friends in the 12 step programs that ran all day there. The sun had just come up and I sat at a bench outside with my head in my hands dreading my inevitable journey to the detox center. Several times I stood up to leave but this incredible force stronger than my will kept sitting me back down. I could hear familiar voices behind me as some friends began leaving the a course in miracles . They gathered around me and spoke only with love and compassion and an understanding that only fellow addicts could even imagine.

I agreed to go to detox and 3 of them took me on the 40 minute drive and several times along the way I seriously contemplated getting out of the car and going to get high. You see, I was already feeling the terrible withdrawal symptoms and the easy way out of being sick would have been to go get a quick fix, but somehow I made it there and I wouldn't want my worst enemy to have to go through what I did for the next 21 days. I ended up in 3 different detoxes, the emergency room twice and came to rest in a psycho ward because I had become delusional.

To this day I don't know what caused it. Maybe my mind couldn't adjust to the sudden change of me going cold turkey. Perhaps it was sleep deprivation, or most likely a combination of them both, but I was sent over the edge. I've known hundreds of people who went through detox and not 1 ever had an experience like mine. My guess is that it had to be that horrible in order for me to completely trust in God and he knew that I needed to hit a bottom this low so I would never forget where I had been and never forget that he restored me to sanity. That was 7 years ago and I never used again. That my friend is a miracle and after that the miracles began to occur on a regular basis. All things are possible through God! Can I get an amen?

So I tell you that in order that you can see for your selves that people have the ability to change no matter what their demons may be, no matter what their circumstances they face and no matter what others may think. But my story doesn't end here, not by a long shot and a long shot was exactly what I was when it came to ever getting my daughters back. The day before I went into detox I was given 90 days by the authorities to have gainful employment, reliable transportation and a suitable home for the 3 of us. It seemed impossible but I pressed on in faith and confessed with my tongue that If God is with me then who can be against me. The addicts in the meeting told me I was only setting myself up for disappointment and a likely relapse but I rebuked their words and stood strong on my faith, and the miracles began to manifest.