Redefine 'strength' to include vulnerability, openness and emotion

Power is a concept that leads to a series of interpretations. For some, this means being physically strong or able to resist movement or breaking. Words related to strength often include sturdiness or toughness, as well as impenetrability. The power in popular culture has even expanded recently to include stoicism. We rarely associate strength with vulnerability, openness, and emotion. Those words are like a tough mortal enemy! However, knowing how to be vulnerable, open and emotional is the real super skill when faced with the complex challenges and thorny issues of a global health pandemic. Our understanding of power needs to be recalculated.

We believe that power resides in a person's intellect or body. We are taught to rise above or under pressure. "Hugging and sucking" is a motivating slang term often used in the military. Wrap your head and body around the pain, but don't let it get inside you. This is what makes you soft. If you work harder, faster, and smarter, you can get rid of those annoying feelings. The reality is that our emotional world can always find its way into your life. I see this when working with high performers. When they stop, they are hit by a tsunami of emotions. When you slow down, you feel everything. You might as well go back to work and keep busy. That world of work is less barbaric.

Our emotions usually start with a small whisper, but if ignored, it turns into a full-scale battle cry.

misunderstanding of power

One of the biggest misconceptions about the strong is that they are bulletproof. They somehow don't feel the stress, pain, fear, worry, or loss that the rest of us mortals do. The reality is that everyone feels things differently, but our nervous system is the balancer.

三和一善

Evolution has left all of us with underdeveloped nervous systems. The pace of life has accelerated dramatically, and our nervous systems are desperately trying to keep up. The problem is that our evolution is not moving at the same rate as our technology. Our whole being is underdeveloped for the task at hand, but we don't talk about that. The bar keeps rising, and many of us spend our waking hours, trying and grabbing. We're chasing "enough," but not getting there. This state of repetitive effort makes many of us think we are the problem.

The difference for those who coped, adjusted, and adapted more successfully was that they just learned how to live with them. But how do you live with those feelings that make you feel weak?

Within the blast radius of this deadly pandemic, we are exposed. Ignoring this fact will only make the situation harder to deal with. We are now in this precious place to co-create a new understanding of power. A new definition of strength needs to include elasticity. A resilient person recognizes their weaknesses and emotions and works with them. A resilient person also understands that being open to challenges from others is an asset when shared correctly. Incorporating the emotional realm into our lives seems to be an area of "soft skills". There is no weakness in this work. This is the work of the heart. Only the bravest adventures are here.

Resilience embedded in strength

Resilience is often defined as someone's ability to bounce or bounce back. My scholarship repurposes elasticity as a verb. You are not born resilient or inflexible. It is a set of traits, skills, and behaviors that we use every day to build a solid foundation.

These five domains create an ecosystem rooted in safety and trust, allowing our physical and mental capabilities to emerge in our lives. Here's the daily elasticity:

sense of belonging

We all need a home team and people in our corner who really support us. We don't need an army. We need a champion who can see us for who we are, who accepts us and who is willing to defend us. That person is also willing to call us out and push us when we need it. They were the first to come in and the last to leave. They are also the people we are often most overlooked when our lives are hectic. We need a Mickey in our corner, like the movie Loki.

view

Perspective is about developing a flexible and agile mind while dealing with emotions. Perspectives also grow with your life experiences. The more you learn, see, seek, question, and understand, the broader your worldview will be. Our attitude and empathy shape our world.

acceptance

We must understand the difference between what we can control and what we cannot control. Know your "controllable factors". Resilient people don't ask, "Why did this happen to me?" They ask, "What's my next good decision?" They don't drain energy and resources on things beyond their control.